Must Control Fist of Death...

[allan]

Normally, I don't believe in perpetuating flame wars and encouraging trolls....but this just angered me. A guy shows up on Roseanne's forum and starts weirding people out. Making posts that many on the forum find innappropriate, and in general increasing everyone's discomfort level (the forum is a place for mothers to get together and talk with each other, the guy who joined was not even a parent -- much less a mother ;)).

She decides, based on member complaints, that it is in the best interest of the forum to ban the guy and she sends him a nicely worded email, explaining why this is being done.

So, of course, the guy goes ballistic and cusses her out, then posts insulting and deragatory comments on his message board. I don't like it when people insult my wife, so of course I had to feed the troll and I did for a couple of posts. After a while I realized it was not going anywhere so I stopped, but it really angers me. I am used to getting insulted, but it bothers me when someone insults my family.

Anyway, if you want to read the side show, it is here (I shouldn't do this, because I don't want to drive traffic to his site, but it is like a good train wreck):

http://www.dymebattlez.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=990

[Barbara]

23 pages??

[Chicken]

I didn't see the posts he made, the complaints, nor am I aware of Zannie's forum policies. The only posts I have looked at are the ones on the forum URL you posted.

So... based on that, I feel you made a few mistakes. Now before you say, "Whaaaaa.. me... but but... me???" -keep in mind that I can't change him so I thought I'd focus on you guys, and help you be better moderators and owners.

For one, I personally wouldn't have 'followed the trail' and registered on his site to discuss the issue. Obviously he's going to present his side, on his forum, to people who he knows and who know him. Personally, I would have handled the issue on her forum and let that be the end of it.

At WHT, I had to ban many people, some of which ran to other forums to post garbage about me. For example, a SPEWS supporter was banned and started a thread in the newsgroup complaining about the site, me, etc. Lots of petty insults, etc. I didn't bother to reply for two reasons: One, the people on the newsgroup were of significantly lower intelligence than myself. no point in arguing with people who have the mentality of river rocks. Two, the people in that newsgroup thread all knoew the poster, and no matter what I said, I wasn't going to be able to convince them that they're little buddy was a troll and got what he deserved. Some of the reasons that person were banned were due to private messages and I'd rather keep the issue private, between the moderators and the member.

I realize you were trying to stick up for Zannie, trying to rationalize the actions of Zannie (banning him), but... :nono:

Two, you can't use the argument, "You are neither a mommy nor a parent." First, you aren't a mommy either, and your presence might indicate that men are welcome. I also checked the rules and faq, and it doesn't say that men aren't welcome, in fact, the definition of 'new mommie' in the faq, seems to include men (or at least does not exclude them).

Three, insulting him on his forum only further distances people on his forum from you. A few may have questioned the actions of their leader, and wondered what the whole story was, but after that, they probably won't listen. Like I said though, IMHO it was a mistake to post there in the first place, regardless.

As I said, I won't change him, so the only thing I thought of was helping you.

EDIT: I just saw Barbara's post. I only read page ONE, and didn't know it went on for that much. I can tell (before reading it), that it only gets worse.

[allan]

Originally posted by Barbara:

23 pages??

Yea, but the weird thing is, that in between my 2nd and 3rd post, there are 2 or 3 people talking amongst themselves, carrying on a war that appears to have been abandoned by everyone else.

[allan]

Originally posted by Chicken:
I realize you were trying to stick up for Zannie, trying to rationalize the actions of Zannie (banning him), but... :nono:

Two, you can't use the argument, "You are neither a mommy nor a parent." First, you aren't a mommy either, and your presence might indicate that men are welcome. I also checked the rules and faq, and it doesn't say that men aren't welcome, in fact, the definition of 'new mommie' in the faq, seems to include men (or at least does not exclude them).


100% agreed, but I think I should make two clarifications:

1. He wasn't banned for being a man, men are welcome on the board (myself included). He was banned because his posts made several of the forum members feel extremely uncomfortable. The fact that he is not a parent added to their discomfort -- as did the content of his website.

2. You are absolutely correct about not following him to his board, but the emails he sent to Roseanne and the language he used so enraged me that I felt obligated to :D.

I am certainly not trying to justify my actions, I have dealt with enough flamage on WHT to know better -- but when someone insults my family it gets under my skin ;).

[Chicken]

1. I realize that, but I just don't think there's any need to bring up, "You are neither a mommy..." - I don't think it's a requirement of your site, but if it is, then it should be stated clearly. If it's a non-issue, then I wouldn't mention it.

2. I suggest you do what I do and file all those emails in a folder. Years later it is fun to look over and you'll laugh at them, instead of being enraged. I kept some of the more colorful forum ones (from various forums), and what got under my skin then, makes for great material now.

Overall, you just have to ignore it. I continued reading for 8 pages and realized that this bunch is not educated or at least does a good job of pretending not to be. Many of the posts don't make sense and/or they are centralized around the notions of profanity, insults, sex, looks, etc. You'd think you were at a trailer park listening to fascinating discussion of misguided middle schoolers.

Not worth your time...

[Robert]

Battle of the Mods.. who will win? Who will be last standing??? ahh crap we know who will win.. Chicken will.. and that *mumbles* ban button.

[Chicken]

LOL, I'm not trying to 'win' -rather just offer advice. One thing I've learned is that trolls suck out 90% of yor energy and in the end they didn't know better in the first place and rarely develop an understanding as it goes on. In other words, it's just a fruitless effort that gets you worked up.

I used to try to reason with such people. I patiently explained it to them, but in the end, really all I did was waste a lot of my time.

[Mark]

Trolls are usually just 13 or 14 year-olds anyway. Don't waste your breath or time. If you get frustrated at someone, take it out on your car's engine on a country road like I do. "rev limiter eh, well see about that" :P

[markblair]

allan, I can completely understand why you'd want to post whether it be on your forum or theirs. I also agree with Chicken that it is better -- and quicker -- to just ignore them. I probably would have done the same, though, as I would have wanted revenge. Something like that.

Someone I know had asked me once how to get rid of someone on their forums. They were having a problem where the person just kept starting fights with everyone. And they used such wonderful language as the person that you were dealing with. Of course I suggested banning them but he did that and they still found ways to re-register. I didn't look at the settings or even the forum so I'm not sure how or what he actually did. My suggestion was to just ignore the loser. Eventually, when they see they aren't getting anywhere, they'll go away. I still agree that if this person was being a pest and non-helpful then banning them from your wife's forum wasn't wrong. Being able to ignore them though is difficult. It's still the best thing to do.

[Alex[nl]]

I clicked the link you provided, read a couple of posts, clicked last>> to see what page would apear, and saw they made it to page 23, an absolute reply record for posts in that forum. I would suggets (if you haven't already done so) to post something on your wife's forums asking the members to ignore the 'beautifull' words of dymebattlez.com, That forum has less then 60 members and is not worth your time or effort. ...

[allan]

In the end, as everyone has pointed out, it is one of those things where it is better to walk away. I made my points, which will fall on deaf ears, and they can take great enjoyment in the fact that they chased me away :D.

That aside, there is one area of the site that concerns me greatly. I've reported my concern to his webhost, but since I have an obvious dislike for this guy, my judgement may be clouded. If you looked at the content on the rest of his site, the primary focus is on "Battlez", females post their pictures and people vote on who is hottest. One of the sections is labelled "Teen Battlez", where the requirement is that you have to be under 17 in order to participate. In those "Battlez" threads, the owner of the site, who says he is 24, makes references to meeting the contestents and implies that sexual activity has taken/will take place.

As far as I know, this is illegal. If these really are teens, and he really is 24, I think this is a serious problem -- but again, my judegement could be clouded. As I said, I have reported this to his host, I am wondering if you all think it is worth pursuing if the host does not respond, or if I am just being hateful.

[markblair]

allan, if what you mentioned him having content about is correct, then it is definitely worth investigating further. However, it appears to have been taken care of already :D -- the site is responding with a "403 Forbidden" error message.

At least his host appears to care about the content of their customers so as they aren't liable. This is such a shame... :rolleyes: :D

[allan]

Originally posted by markblair:

allan, if what you mentioned him having content about is correct, then it is definitely worth investigating further. However, it appears to have been taken care of already :D -- the site is responding with a "403 Forbidden" error message.


Yea, I guess the host agreed with me that some of the content was questionable :D. I honestly did not want the whole site removed, as I don't want to supress the right of people to say whatever they want, but I can't stand seeing the type of stuff that was on the board.

[Chicken]

Originally posted by allan:

One of the sections is labelled "Teen Battlez", where the requirement is that you have to be under 17 in order to participate. In those "Battlez" threads, the owner of the site, who says he is 24, makes references to meeting the contestents and implies that sexual activity has taken/will take place.
Whether you liked the guy or not... this ain't right. As you have done, I'd bring it to the attention of people who'd look into it further (the provider, possibly law enforement, etc.) and let them investigate it.

[Barbara]

Looks like the site is back up (minus the Teen Battlez).

[allan]

Originally posted by Barbara:

Looks like the site is back up (minus the Teen Battlez).

Cool -- I didn't want the host to overreact, just remove the illegal stuff. I guess the moral of the story is:

Don't get involved in flame wars with teenagers, and if you are a teenager pretending to be 24 don't anger someone who knows what content could be considered illegal and knows how to contact your host to have it removed.