View Full Version : Girls..Girls..Girls..
Ok So.. Let's rewind..
[11th Grade - Year 2001]
I meet this girl, Leanne, who I instantly fall in love with. She's beautiful. Blonde hair, blue eyes, great personality. Problems? If you consider her being 1 grade under me, other than that nothing. So I start showing her my feelings which, in a nice way, she doesn't take anything and lets me down that she doesn't like me. Bummer. For the rest of that year and my senior year I dated other girls, and enjoyed the single life.
[August of 2002]
Yeep. I've graduated. Time to forget about my "high school" life and even my friends and move on to bigger and better things. Out of the blue, I get an IM from .. yeep you guessed it, Leanne. She asks me how I am doing and what not. I compose myself and tell her "yeep yeep doing Great!" Despite the fact that I had a horrible 11th grade year because of her, she, as well as I, do not comment of what happened.
Now.. let's forward
[April 2003]
For the past 9 months, we talk almost everyday online. A simple "hi, what's up?" and a little conversation. Never do we go any farther. Until today, I took the that extra step and asked her if she wanted to go to the movies with me next weekend and maybe a dinner. she said "Sure!". I said "maybe we can have dinner with my bestfriend and his girlfriend and what not". I dont know about you, but I was asking her on a date. Five [5] Minutes later she busts out with "my boyfriend says its ok".... WHAT?! BOYFRIEND?! YOUR?! YOUR BOYFRIEND?!. Never in the past 9 months of us "communicating" has she never mentioned her "Boyfriend"!
Now I don't feel like going out with her. Grr.. I hate Girls!!!!
Phrozen
04-26-03, 04:13 PM
LOL
Normally I'm not one to use that, but I really am laughing out loud...
:rofl:
JeremyV
04-26-03, 04:42 PM
Ahh, welcome to the ever complicated life dealing with women :D
suppleSupport
04-26-03, 04:49 PM
women aren't complicated. it's just that men aren't perceptive and understanding enough :D
KualoCraig
04-26-03, 04:58 PM
Aaah that clears it all up then!
I can see why you'd want to understand and try to get to know our minds - because they are truly great. :cool:
Women --> :bowdown: Men
However, we have no real need or desire to get to know yours, so we don't ever bother :) If we did, we'd only end up :banghead: with the nonsense we'd find. Don't get me wrong though, we love you all to bits anyway for some reason :flowers:
And with that, I'll run as fast as I can away from Navin, and all the other females on the board
Craig.
KualoCraig
04-26-03, 05:13 PM
Although, I have to ask Robert why you are trying to gain an understanding... It really isn't worth it :) Your mind will never be the same again :p:
suppleSupport
04-26-03, 05:14 PM
Originally posted by KualoCraig:
However, we have no real need or desire to get to know yours, so we don't ever bother :)
Dear, dear Craig: Why do you think Robert posted his most lamentable story? He's trying to figure out the female mind :)
Furnace
04-26-03, 05:20 PM
He's trying to figure out the female mind
ha, good luck with that one!!
DizixCom
04-26-03, 05:21 PM
Wow, I have to question her boyfriends intelligence if he's letting her go out with another guy who's expressed an interest in her. He's either really friggin secure or affraid to say no...
Barbara
04-26-03, 05:26 PM
Originally posted by elevation:
women aren't complicated. it's just that men aren't perceptive and understanding enough :D
Exactly right! :banana:
Originally posted by Robert:
I compose myself and tell her "yeep yeep doing Great!" Despite the fact that I had a horrible 11th grade year because of her, she, as well as I, do not comment of what happened.
Truthfully speaking, it is not really her fault that you had a horrible 11th grade. You expressed feelings she did not reciprocate and she gently let you know. Sounds like she did everything she could to spare your feelings.
You can't fault her for not having the same feelings you did.
Originally posted by Robert:
For the past 9 months, we talk almost everyday online. A simple "hi, what's up?" and a little conversation. Never do we go any farther. Until today, I took the that extra step and asked her if she wanted to go to the movies with me next weekend and maybe a dinner. she said "Sure!". I said "maybe we can have dinner with my bestfriend and his girlfriend and what not". I dont know about you, but I was asking her on a date. Five [5] Minutes later she busts out with "my boyfriend says its ok".... WHAT?! BOYFRIEND?! YOUR?! YOUR BOYFRIEND?!. Never in the past 9 months of us "communicating" has she never mentioned her "Boyfriend"!
Now I don't feel like going out with her. Grr.. I hate Girls!!!!
Maybe she assumed since she has already made her feelings known that she would not have to again. Since you are friends, why is it unrealistic that she would think anything other than you were asking to hang out as friends?
I think you are mis-attributing your frustration -- again, it is not really her fault that you are attracted to her in a way that she cannot return.
Phrozen
04-26-03, 05:53 PM
See... this is where I find myself different than most guys... my own [guy] friends included...
The majority of my friends are girls. Even my best friend is a girl. Yeah, it it can be strange at times... it's not like I can talk "guy talk" to her if you catch my drift, but we are close and we can talk to each other about most things best friends usually do. Guys, you know what? Girls really aren't that difficult to understand, you just need to know how to listen. Of course having a girl as a best friend, it's probably just something I picked up on without even realizing it.
interactive
04-26-03, 06:51 PM
I agree with you there Robert that does suck. But I'd stay far away from her in the future if she would do that to you while you were dating her (even if you had given her "permission"). Women aren't that hard to understand most of the time, you just got to shut up and listen sometimes (takes time to learn how to do this ;))
Phrozen
04-26-03, 06:56 PM
Originally posted by interactive: Wemon Haha. Coolest typo ever. :p:
interactive
04-26-03, 07:09 PM
Err my bad fixed :D
In the immortal words of Baloo the Bear "Forget about them, they ain't nuthin' but trouble".
And from "The Muppet Movie":
You can't live with 'em,
You can't live without 'em.
There's something irresistabullish about 'em.
You grin and bear it 'cuz the nights are long,
and hope that something better comes along.
Great words of wisdom to be learned from the movies of our youth.
Yet, still, we succumb to temptation :love:
FindSP.com
04-26-03, 08:35 PM
welcome aboard .... just to let you know that you'll be suffering for the rest of your life from girls like that.. we all are.. and hey it never ends - even after you meet the perfect one for you..
There's always something!!!!!!!
PH Lamar
04-26-03, 08:47 PM
Ah....youth. If only knew then, what I......
All old (over 30) married guys like myself, raise your hand if you think that interpreting a teenage girl's actions is like reading a book. The bad part is that by the time you learn, its too late. They've got you married and trained by that point.:p:
Like I've told some of the kids (and young men), you've got to know how to play the game. When she says blah, blah, she is expecting a certain response from you.
The older they get, the more clever they become.
The following is harsh. Don't get mad at me.
Forget her. She's a stringer. That means she likes to "string you along". You are a backup for her. She keeps contact to keep you encouraged. You are good material for making the boyfriend jealous, filling up her spare time, doing homework, impressing friends, encouraging gossip among her peers, etc. But, most of all, you are good practice. There will be one or two in every guy's life. Welcome to the club.
if you say one or two then why did i run into 5 of thoes types of women?
Don't the ladies on this board have any pearls of wisdom to share?
kunal
DarktidesNET
04-26-03, 11:25 PM
Heh... sounds like my ex of 3 years Rachel.
Good luck with that, I'll never understand women.
DarktidesNET
04-26-03, 11:28 PM
Originally posted by PH Lamar:
Ah....youth. If only knew then, what I......
All old (over 30) married guys like myself, raise your hand if you think that interpreting a teenage girl's actions is like reading a book. The bad part is that by the time you learn, its too late. They've got you married and trained by that point.:p:
Like I've told some of the kids (and young men), you've got to know how to play the game. When she says blah, blah, she is expecting a certain response from you.
The older they get, the more clever they become.
The following is harsh. Don't get mad at me.
Forget her. She's a stringer. That means she likes to "string you along". You are a backup for her. She keeps contact to keep you encouraged. You are good material for making the boyfriend jealous, filling up her spare time, doing homework, impressing friends, encouraging gossip among her peers, etc. But, most of all, you are good practice. There will be one or two in every guy's life. Welcome to the club.
I've already met my two, hope there's no more. :( :D
Originally posted by DarktidesNET:
Good luck with that, I'll never understand women.
Because you don't try :p: At least we understand where you guys are coming from and can make exuses for you. :banana:
net-trend
04-27-03, 01:31 AM
Originally posted by DarktidesNET:
Good luck with that, I'll never understand women.
I think men in general will NEVER understand the female mind.
It's almost impossible, what works now may not work the next time (assuming it's the same scenario).
Also, when it comes to dating, accept life's torture on your soul.
suppleSupport
04-27-03, 06:41 AM
Originally posted by allan:
Truthfully speaking, it is not really her fault that you had a horrible 11th grade. You expressed feelings she did not reciprocate and she gently let you know. Sounds like she did everything she could to spare your feelings.
You can't fault her for not having the same feelings you did.
Maybe she assumed since she has already made her feelings known that she would not have to again. Since you are friends, why is it unrealistic that she would think anything other than you were asking to hang out as friends?
I think you are mis-attributing your frustration -- again, it is not really her fault that you are attracted to her in a way that she cannot return.
Allan you are SO right! I've had this happen to me so many times it's not even funny. I tell a guy hey, I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way... then I try to act normal and not let this get in the way of our friendship. But because I'm being nice, the guy automatically thinks I'm attracted to him and gets led on by even the most innocent of things... vicious circle, really.
edit: typo
Women with a brain? Oxymoron? ;)
kunal
Props to her boyfriend for not playa hatin?
net-trend
04-27-03, 07:02 AM
Originally posted by Rewdog:
Props to her boyfriend for not playa hatin?
There may not have been a boyfriend....
Living Media
04-27-03, 07:57 AM
Robert, you have been LBF'ed most spectacularly.
She doesn't want to go out with you. She never did, and probably never will. It's her own definition of what she wants (in terms of relationships, in terms of partners, in terms of whatever) more than it is anything you do or did. She enjoys your conversation, and she likes you as a friend. Friend. That little six-letter word that moonlights as a death knell.
How do I know? I used the line a few times on some uber-optomistic / persistent guys in high school when they tried to move into romantic relationship territory. (The perils of being female and on the chess team, they are legion.) There might not be a boyfriend, or there might be a boyfriend. In this case, it doesn't matter. I advise you to just give up any hopes of ever having a romantic relationship with Leanne. She's not interested.
Congratulations, Robert. You're a Nice Guy (http://www.niceguys.org).
ps - LBF = Let's Be Friends
Originally posted by elevation:
Allan you are SO right! I've had this happen to me so many times it's not even funny. I tell a guy hey, I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way... then I try to act normal and not let this get in the way of our friendship. But because I'm being nice, the guy automatically thinks I'm attracted to him and gets led on by even the most innocent of things... vicious circle, really.
edit: typo
:confused:
kunal
*sigh*
She lead me on I believe. I asked her to the movies and a dinner, what does that mean? She told me to call her and gave me her # again.
I should have stuck with my ex-girlfriend, at least I had it than!
Living Media
04-27-03, 08:17 AM
Well, to some people - both male and female - that just means 'spending an evening with a friend'. And staying in contact with someone is just 'staying in contact with a friend'. I have plenty of male friends who are just that: friends.
I don't think that she lead you on. You came into the situation with expectations and preconceptions (like all humans do), and then filtered everything that happened through them without getting some (updated) confirmation that your perceptions were accurate - or inaccurate, as the case may be. You should think about trying utter honesty once in a while - just lay it out for the person: "I like you a lot, I think you're good looking, I really like your company, I'm interested in having a relationship with you." If at that point the person says "I like you as a friend, but that's it", accept it at face value. Anything else is your responsibility, not the other person's.
If you find that you will interpret any attention from this person as "I want to start a romantic / sexual relationship with you", then you might want to think about not being in contact with her. Tell her why, also - otherwise she'll just keep calling and IMing. She should know that she's dealing with someone who will not accept, for whatever reason, the fact that she doesn't want anything more than friendship.
...and there's always the possibility that she's just playing nasty mindgames with you. Some people do that, for whatever weird reason. You'd know better than any of us if that was likely, though.
Lesli,
I did that. Waayyy back 2 years ago. Where she shut me down. So, like a man, I moved on. Dated other people, never forgetting Leanne, but knowing that I did what I could and it was up to her.
Maybe it's hard to explain my position, because of the IMs she sent, I honestly do feel that she expected me to do more. So after 8 months of just "talking" I decided to make a move, which is accepted.
Oh well. Life does Go On.
I see it as HER lost, not mine.
DarktidesNET
04-27-03, 08:25 AM
How about I get some redemption back for us men and whoop Lesli's butt @ yahoo chess? :D
Just trying to lighten the mood up .... :)
Living Media
04-27-03, 08:25 AM
Originally posted by Robert:
Life does Go On
...and hits us up alongside the head with a week-old trout every once in a while, just to be a real jerk. :D
I don't doubt that she was only looking to keep in contact with a friend, rather than try and imply that she wanted a relationship. But it still sucks, doesn't it?
Tea and sympathy, Robert.
Living Media
04-27-03, 08:26 AM
Originally posted by DarktidesNET:
How about I get some redemption back for us men and whoop Lesli's butt @ yahoo chess? :D
Just trying to lighten the mood up .... :)
LOL
I was only 4th board...and there was a pretty large gap in skill / tactics-competency between 4th and 3rd boards :D
Originally posted by Living Media:
Tea and sympathy, Robert.
..more like drugs and alcohol. :pimp:
Imma Justa Kidding!
Is there really a boyfriend? I find it hard to believe that that fact would have been overlooked in he 8 months you chatted with her.
My first thought is that she doesn't have a boyfriend, and only said that for whatever reason. Possibly that she doesn't want to seem desperate, or for you to think something is wrong with her if she doesn't have a boyfriend.
Karen
DarktidesNET
04-27-03, 08:31 AM
From my out take on it, once you love a girl and it don't work out, it's best to never speak again. Old feelings don't die.
Originally posted by Karen:
Is there really a boyfriend? I find it hard to believe that that fact would have been overlooked in he 8 months you chatted with her.
My first thought is that she doesn't have a boyfriend, and only said that for whatever reason. Possibly that she doesn't want to seem desperate, or for you to think something is wrong with her if she doesn't have a boyfriend.
Karen
That's what I am saying. Because whens he said she had a boyfriend, I asked her what school he went to, and infact he went to the same High school she does, which is where I went. I asked his name and she said "David" and than got off. Weird?
Originally posted by DarktidesNET:
From my out take on it, once you love a girl and it don't work out, it's best to never speak again. Old feelings don't die.
I have to agree. It was her to IMed me. I didn't want to be a jerk or anything.
Originally posted by DarktidesNET:
From my out take on it, once you love a girl and it don't work out, it's best to never speak again. Old feelings don't die.
I think it should be the opposite. Stick with it.. be her best friend if you really like her... you never know what might happen ;) but that does not mean you dont go out and date other women...
kunal
PH Lamar
04-27-03, 11:19 AM
Originally posted by kunal:
I think it should be the opposite. Stick with it.. be her best friend if you really like her... you never know what might happen ;) but that does not mean you dont go out and date other women...
kunal
kunal, you're a glutton for punishment, man! :p:
I agree with DTN. Move on. There's nothing there, but misery.
Lesli's a vixen! Don't listen to her! j/k ;)
DarktidesNET
04-27-03, 11:53 AM
Originally posted by PH Lamar:
kunal, you're a glutton for punishment, man! :p:
I agree with DTN. Move on. There's nothing there, but misery.
Lesli's a vixen! Don't listen to her! j/k ;)
Aren't I always right?!?!? :) Just playing. :p:
Originally posted by PH Lamar:
kunal, you're a glutton for punishment, man! :p:
I agree with DTN. Move on. There's nothing there, but misery.
Lesli's a vixen! Don't listen to her! j/k ;)
HAHAHA.. I am an optimist.. :D
kunal
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